That Sunday Night Feeling

Most of you reading this blog know that I was a swimmer growing up. From the age of 4, my summers were spent in the sun at swim practice in the morning and usually morphed into a full day spent at the pool. By the end of summer my skin tone was closer to that of a coastal Mexican than the average white girl that I am.

My parents joke that through the course of the summer there were, at any given time, somewhere from three to thirty kids at their house ages ranging from 10 to 20, all with just a couple things in common – we were swimmers and we lived in the same neighborhood. Our meets were on Mondays, and I can remember from even a very young age the anxiety / excitement / nerves I would get on Sundays. Not to brag, but my siblings and I were pretty good swimmers ;). Definitely among the best on the teams for which we swam, and generally we knew we would do well at meets. I loved swim meet days and pretty much counted down every week to the next meet day, but still the nerves were an inevitable part of the process.

By the same token, that Sunday night feeling crept up during the school year as every new week approached. As the weekend wound down and the next week edged near, there was always this underlying tone of apprehension, maybe due in part to the incomplete homework assignments I knew were looming to be done some time before Monday morning. By the middle of the day on Monday, that feeling was washed away as the normalcy of the days overtook the fear of the unknown.

^OK, maybe I also get anxiety before I go to Confession…

If you were to ask me how I feel about Regan’s impending surgery, I would liken it to that Sunday night feeling. There’s a part of me that feels confident we are being cared for by the best cardiologists in the country, and there’s another (big) part that feels very anxious about the whole process. I know the surgery will make her feel better, will ease her breathing, will give her more energy, will allow her to eat when she’s hungry and eat a full meal on her own, will allow her to continue to learn and grow the way she’s meant to. I also know that there is a gravity that accompanies an open heart surgery, not to mention open heart surgery on a tiny, 4 month old baby. I pray for her surgeons (whom I have not met) and the entire surgical team that their focus be with Regan on her big day as they take my sweet girl into their talented hands.

I mentioned before that there’s this magical window of time in which Regan needs to have her surgery. I am so very happy to report that all of our Cardiology appointments to date have gone smoothly and I could not be more proud of my angel girl. She is up to 9 lb 11 oz as of yesterday, and actually slightly exceeded the amount they expect her to gain per day. There’s an adjusted growth chart for Down syndrome kiddos, and I honestly don’t remember where they told me Regan is charting, but on the typical baby growth chart, she is tracking in the 25^th percentile! The cardiologist is very happy with how she is doing and is confident that she will be fully prepared for her surgery by March – just have to keep her healthy until then! The goal is for Regan to be 5 kilos (11 lbs in American speak), and she is currently 4.4 kilos. With every appointment, a small bit of my anxiety is relieved, but I know the days approaching her surgery date will bring a wave of nerves like I’ve never experienced. I can only pray that they will be lifted from me once I am able to see Regan post surgery.

In other Regan news, she’s had two major successes since her stay in the NICU. First, her thyroid was testing slightly abnormal while she was in the hospital, so they decided she needed to be re-tested a few weeks after being home. Her thyroid is now normal! She’ll continue to be monitored but this is obviously fabulous news as it eliminates the need to add (yet another) medication to her repertoire. She also failed a hearing test in her right ear while she was in NICU; she was also re-tested for this on Monday and passed with flying colors! Go girl! She’ll continue to be tested on this as well but every passed test is a major celebration over here 🙂

She’s also JUST starting to babble and I swear a smile is coming soon! You can barely hear a little coo here if you listen closely..

[wpvideo P2eAnBOM]

Happy Super Bowl Sunday weekend, all!