I mentioned in a Facebook post while Regan was in the NICU that the Advent season gained a whole new meaning to me. If you’re not familiar, the Advent season is a season of waiting, hoping, and preparing for the coming of Jesus. For us, it was waiting for Regan to be healthy enough to come home and celebrate Jesus’ birthday. It’s interesting the path we’re on and the timing of everything, because now I’ve gained a new appreciation for the Lenten season as well. Lent is a period of sacrifice and preparation for Christ’s death and resurrection at Easter. I went to Ash Wednesday mass this week, only the second time I’ve been able to get to church since we brought Regan home. Like any good Catholic, I was late and made it shortly before ashes were distributed (still counts!). I spent that precious time reflecting on this year’s Lent and how it will forever change my outlook on these 40 days.
Specifically, I think of the Blessed Mother and how she must have felt in the 40 days leading up the crucifixion. I am having but a small taste of her feelings, knowing Regan has needed this surgery. Since the day we found out about Regan, I have prayed continuously to the Blessed Mother (and my Mah) for their strength. I remember the hours and days following Regan’s diagnosis during my pregnancy and feeling the tears flow heavily down my face and just repeating the prayer “give me strength”. I couldn’t think of anything else to ask for on my own behalf, because even before Regan was born I knew she needed me to be strong. The days have gotten easier since then, but the hard days are starting to creep up again.
Regan’s surgery has been scheduled for next week, on Thursday March 9. I am very scared. I will once again be praying over and over for strength. My sweet girl will be in open heart surgery for nearly 2 hours and there’s nothing I can do for her but to have strength, to pray and to have faith that the surgery will bring her health and a happy heart (literally!). We have done everything we can do, keeping her healthy (please continue to pray that she stays healthy – surgery will be postponed if she has any kind of infection), and allowing her to rest and gain weight (to quote our cardiologist “almost too good at gaining weight”. Looks like she got the Baringer genes on that one 😉 ).
Regan will be in the hospital for one to two weeks while she recovers from surgery. All of the doctors we’ve seen feel very confident in Regan’s surgery – she’s a prime candidate and they feel she will have a speedy recovery.
We will leave for Philadelphia on Wednesday for Regan’s pre-op appointment on Wednesday afternoon. We don’t have a surgery time yet; we’ll get that on Wednesday, and I’ll be sure to keep everyone updated. Thank you for all your support and prayers along the way. We truly love all of y’all.