I went for a walk this morning with Regan and Walter (#besties) and I couldn’t help but think of the anticipation of the Summer season. Even as an adult, the springtime carries an excitement to it as the long Summer days lay ahead. As a kid, the Summer meant summer league swim team, spending literally all day at the pool, walks on the golf course to my best friend’s house on the other side of the neighborhood. It meant a deep brown tan, a constant stream of kids and teenagers in and out of our house, Monday night swim meets and dinners at Sweet Mesquite.
Today was a lot like the day I got the phone call regarding the genetic test results during my pregnancy. It was a beautiful day just before July 4th weekend and I was happy as a clam taking my morning walk. I felt the same today – although nearly four seasons have passed between that day and today. Figuratively and literally four seasons have passed. I have grieved, wondered why, wondered how, wondered if I am capable. I have found new friends and reconnected with old friends, who’ve both kindly offered their support. I have found that I’m now part of this “lucky few” club – one that I never would’ve wished to be a part of, but now understand its beauty.
I imagine that having children inevitably makes you look at the world through a new lens. You notice things you maybe wouldn’t have appreciated in your previous life. I had a phone call with a fellow “lucky few” parent just a few days before having Regan. I discussed with her my curiosity at the difference between having your first born with Down syndrome versus later children. We obviously will never know any different, but she was confident it has made her a better mother. She said you’ll parent your other kids the same way you parent your first, which forces you to focus on development more than you maybe would have otherwise. You’ll have a much greater appreciation for each little milestone because you’re so aware of the extra effort it takes to get there.
As I mentioned last week, we had Regan’s Early Intervention evaluation and we will begin therapy with an early education specialist in a few weeks. Last week was the first time Regan was able to have tummy time following her surgery (for those of you wondering, it was six weeks). Admittedly, I wasn’t religious about tummy time before her surgery because it seemed to really exhaust her and my overprotective mommy self would only do it a couple minutes at a time. With all of that said, we resumed tummy time last week and this week, and Regan has made incredible strides in such a short amount of time. She rolled over (tummy to back) for the first time just yesterday! With no one around, I jumped and clapped and probably looked like a looney tune dancing around our living room. Let it be known this will not be the last over-reaction from me.
Shifting gears here for a minute – Mitch turns 29 on Monday and I don’t want to miss the chance to publicly wish him a very Happy Birthday. I was recently telling a friend of ours (Hi, Sarah!) how much the first few months of Regan’s life really tested our marriage. That is the most honest statement I can make without sugarcoating how difficult things were from December 5 to March 9. Both of us were running on fumes and had nothing left to give to our marriage at the end of each day. I’m so happy to say we are both in a much better place and I pray that in difficult times in the future we turn to each other for support rather than survival. To Mitch I say thank you – thank you for sticking it out with me despite all the times I wasn’t fair to you, thank you for learning how to be a parent right long side me even when it was (is) most difficult, and most of all thank you for giving me the most beautiful girl in the whole world and I can’t wait to see her riding on that tractor with you very soon! Also thank you for giving me the most generous maternity leave I could ever ask for, and I promise I’m getting back to work (<- this is actually true – I have finally returned to FEI on a daily basis during Regan’s morning nap time, and I couldn’t be happier to be working with my boss again). Happy Birthday – I love you!
We can’t wait to see all the continued life surprises that are in store for us – thank y’all always!
Happy Birthday to my Godson, Mitch. Continue to be there for Meg and Meg continue to be there for Mitch and you will live happily ever after as a great family. Through thick and thin turn to each other and keep faith in your lives.