Seems a little counterintuitive, right? Why should happiness require work? It always seems like happiness should come so easily, but it doesn’t always. But I’ve come to find that so many things in life that are worth anything require work. Faith, family, relationships, marriage, happiness, motherhood (< though this one may be a bit more obvious). Among those listed above, it seems like happiness should come the easiest. After all, most of us can define the things that make us happy.
Mitch and I are in the middle of year three of marriage. I can feel us shifting out of the honeymoon phase and into what could become the monotony of everyday life. We have natural ebbs and flows. Sometimes one of us is happier than the other, and sometimes we both follow the same path of ups and downs. We each have our own struggles and strife, and it’s easy to only focus on ourselves despite our commitment to each other. Adding Regan into the mix added to both the ups and downs. Some of the days are long; in fact, I slept from 5-7:30PM after one of those long days.
If you came to our wedding, you likely remember Fr. Jack who married us. Last year, shortly after we knew we were expecting Regan, he gave us a piece of advice that I try to keep at the forefront of our marriage. He said “your priorities are to God, your marriage, and then your kids. In that order. Keep your marriage at the forefront and the rest will fall into place.” Those words stuck with me, and I can’t say I’m always successful, but those are words I try to live by.
Going through life trying to serve multiple roles can be a struggle. I think women particularly have a hard time with this, and I am no different. These efforts can detract from my happiness. Even admitting that makes me feel a little selfish, like serving these roles takes away from my individual happiness. But it’s true. I’m still trying to find a balance between myself as an individual, working at home, being a mom and a wife. Realizing that all of this takes work is hard. There are days I feel like it should all be easy, that it should all come easily to me and sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t really have a message in this post, just expressing some honest feelings on life, hoping that I’m not the only one…anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
If there’s something I can attribute my general happiness to, it’s our family and friends who lift us up on those days when we’re feeling down. So maybe the message is putting the work into our relationships pays off on the days when we feel we can’t put in the work into our individual happiness. Maybe that’s part of the checks and balances of life.
Have a happy weekend, y’all! Keep on workin’ on that happiness!
Also – Regan is SEVEN MONTHS old. An update on her: she’s rolling over constantly, and loves being on her tummy. In fact, last night she surprised us by sleeping on her tummy. She is truly such a happy baby. Apparently I did too much bragging about how well she sleeps through the night because we’re going through a phase of waking up to eat, darn. No teeth yet, though I feel SO SURE they are going to pop up any minute. She’s eating solids like a champ, and prefers fruits to veggies. Her hair is getting so long and definitely in need of some bows now! Everyone is still saying she looks like Mitch, so I’m reach a place of acceptance with that. We are in Early Intervention therapy once a week, and we’re currently working on sitting independently. I think she has a bit of work to do, but we’re seeing slow and steady progress! Regan is a little chatterbox and generally “talks” to us before she cries when she wakes up. She is a little lovebug and is never mad about being held. We love her more ever day; even on the hard ones!