I found myself today in an extra Christmas-y mood, ready to take on the day of baking and sharing treats with some of those who have literally helped us survive the past year. For the past several weeks, I couldn’t help but think of how I was feeling “at this time last year” (ß which has also seemed to be a theme for the past several weeks here on the blog). I have written in the past what it’s like to have a baby in the NICU, but I didn’t tell it from a Christmas-time point of view. While it may seem like the Christmas spirit would make it a little easier, for me it made it even more difficult. For those 16 days, my heart and life stood still. Every day was a day of anxiety, fear of what they would tell me next, and never certain when I would get to take my most treasured Christmas gift home. While I had a small taste of it, I cannot imagine the hearts of families whose babies spend months and years at the hospital. So this Christmas season (and probably every future Christmas season), a piece of my heart will be with those who are aching to bring their babies home and celebrate a “normal” Christmas.
It’s been so fun to celebrate with Regan this year, while last year I was in a NICU haze, and not quite sure how to ask for help from those who care for me the most. This year, we got to decorate our own tree [last year, I didn’t get to the tree before Regan made her debut]! We got to bake cookies “together” (mostly Regan sitting in her high chair watching me), and listen to Christmas music while shopping (online). There are so many little things that I’ve learned to not take for granted that I can thank Regan for, and there happen to be a lot surrounding her birthday and Christmas. This year, we will celebrate Christmas in Texas with my family since I’ve gotten two Christmases in a row at our home in Pennsylvania.
I love to hear other family Christmas traditions – I’d love to hear yours!
Happy Christmas season, friends. Squeeze your families tight!
