Does anyone else feel like our world got put in a serious timeout for the past few months? Also like we KEPT getting put in time out for not following the rules? I think I can speak for everyone when I say it is strange times we are living. The impact of the virus on our world has been devastating, but the ripple effects have brought a lot of self-awareness, and that may be a good thing.
What little I know about timeouts is that there is this magical time of effectiveness where the lesson is clearly understood, but also before the message is completely lost. As you can probably guess, timeouts happen in our house with Regan. Some days are better than others, and some days we are frequenting the timeout chair. Sometimes she saves me a trip and puts HERSELF in the timeout chair. What kind of days have you been having since we all got put in time out? Are some days better than others for you, too?
We started potty training the day a stay-at-home order was put in place for us. Potty training quarantine days go together like peanut butter and jelly, but some days it felt like oil and water. It was perfect because we had nowhere else to go and “only” one focus, but some days it felt like we wanted to go running for the hills. When I say “we” I mean Regan and me. We have been our own little teammates through the past several weeks and months, and I know there have been several days where she has wanted to head for the hills and away from me. What I have continued to learn about Regan is that she is capable of much more than I give her credit for – within the first few weeks, she had the potty thing (mostly) on lockdown, pun intended. We had a very successful first quarantine few weeks on other subjects, too. Regan knows her letters by sight and sign, can count to 10(ish) with help, and she’s starting to nail down colors. Her favorite color is yellow, by the way. Yellow is usually her first guess on color identification. But eventually, the novelty of staying at home with mom and Hank started to dwindle.
I am going out on a limb to say Regan and I have reached the end of our joint creativity during this stay-at-home time, and I’m here to tell you that I am OK with that! Regan is a social butterfly and she misses her peer interaction more than words can say. Her teachers at school were emphatic in sharing with me that Regan “plays up” when she is around her typical peers. (THIS, my friends, is why we advocate so fiercely for inclusion in school, but I digress.) They instill a confidence in her that could never come from me alone. One night this week, Mitch had Regan at our neighborhood playground where he watched Regan confidently climb to the big slide and make her own way down after seeing another little girl do the same. Typically, Regan only goes to the smaller slides and will ask for our help at the top. Regan’s school is opening next week, and that little anecdote was exactly what I needed to remind me that sending her back to school is what’s best for her health and growth right now. If you cringed a little at the thought of sending Regan to a classroom full of tiny petri dish preschoolers, just know that the same thought crossed my mind more times than I can count.
As we re-enter whatever new normal this world is going to offer, I can assure you that most of us are constantly weighing the risks and benefits of every action we take. And that is the definition of the life of a mother: constantly weighing the risks and benefits of the actions you take on behalf of your children. Fortunately, Regan’s timeouts have decreased over the past couple weeks (those middle weeks were rough and included a LOT of whining. A LOT.) But the timing of her timeouts must hit that sweet spot. If I wait too long to put her in timeout, she has already forgotten what she’s done. If I put her in timeout and leave her there too long, Hank makes his way over to the timeout chair, they start giggling together, and my message is completely lost. So before we get left in timeout too long, I hope we can all have some time of self-reflection on maybe something we didn’t know about ourselves prior to this timeout. I am more confident than ever that the key to Regan’s success is peer interaction. I know that I am unable provide everything she needs on my own. And most of all, I know I will never take a hug and time with those I love for granted ever again.
Thank y’all for welcoming me back to my little space. So happy to be back!
