A Different Starting Line

I grew up with a lot of privilege. We weren’t rich, but weren’t poor either. I went to Catholic school from Pre-K through Eighth grade, followed up a public high school experience that was enriched with fabulous teachers and a great group of friends. After that was Texas A&M which opened up career opportunities of my choosing. I grew up believing that opportunities are what you make of them, that we all have a vast world to chase after, with just hard work and determination anything is possible. What I didn’t know was that my position in life granted me those opportunities.

I hear a lot the Regan is lucky or blessed to have us as a family. The truth is we are the lucky ones. This is just another example of how much she’s opened my eyes with compassion and empathy.

What I’ve realized is we don’t all have the same starting line. I will be honest – I used to get frustrated at the idea that universities, corporations, classrooms, social organizations, board rooms would strive to have a certain percentage of seats filled with protected classes. My thinking was – shouldn’t the person who is best suited for the role get the position, regardless of race, gender, ability, etc.? Isn’t that true inclusion? It’s a valid argument, but it presumes that everyone in the world is presented with the exact same opportunities. I heard a quote from the basketball coach on the Netflix series Last Chance U that basically said ‘Yes, we all have the same opportunity, but some of these kids’ windows of opportunity are SO SMALL that they have just one chance to get through. If they have no one pushing them, forcing them through that window, they may never have a chance to get out.’ He was referring to his players in underserved and low income communities. While I’ll never experience this hardship, I can now appreciate the sentiment as I raise my children and advocate for just opportunities for individuals with disabilities.

I am just at the tip of the iceberg in Regan’s education experience, and there’s a part of me that is bracing for impact. Legally and technically, Regan is entitled to an education in a setting of the least restrictive environment in our neighborhood school. I am so proud that our laws dictate this, but I will still need to advocate for Regan to be in a classroom alongside her typical peers. This is the difficult side of raising a child with a disability. Regan will go through testing, assessments, evaluations of physical, occupational, verbal and social skills to determine if it’s “appropriate” for her to be in a typical classroom. If you have only typical children or if you grew up as I did, you likely never had to justify your place in a classroom. Your behaviors weren’t analyzed, you weren’t tested on what you knew before starting each grade level, you didn’t have to prove your place in the world just to have a seat at the table.

As her mother, I am protective of Regan. I know she not only deserves a seat at the table, in the classroom, in social situations, but makes those settings a BETTER PLACE because of who she is. It’s not Regan’s job the convince the world she deserves to be here. It’s our job to embrace others who are different from us, save them a seat next to us, and celebrate them for exactly who they are.

This is why INCLUSION MATTERS. I encourage you to take a look around your family’s settings. If you aren’t seeing people of all walks of life, colors, and disabilities, it’s not because those people don’t exist. It’s because those people (for whatever reason), have not felt the open arms of inclusion in those settings. Inclusion requires ACTION from us (me too!) Inclusion won’t necessarily look the same for everyone – but an fully inclusive environment should be the starting line.

Special needs classrooms are the last remaining form of segregation. Regan won’t graduate from school to a “special” world that isolated from her typical peers. She’ll graduate into the REAL world, full of challenges and hardships that we all face. Her education experience should be the same. Her typical peers won’t graduate into a world where the “special” students graduate into a separate workforce, separate housing, separate social settings. Why should her typical friends be robbed of an educational experience that differs so significantly from the world we all live in? Did you know typical children also benefit significantly from inclusive settings? Countless studies have proven students in inclusive settings achieve friendship skills, peer modeling, problem solving skills, positive self-image, and respect for others. This can trickle down to their families as well, teaching parents and families to be more accepting of differences.

I wouldn’t know this gift without having Regan. She has changed my world, my mind and my heart in more ways than I can count, and I won’t stop shouting her worth – along with the worthiness of all individuals with disabilities – until inclusive settings are the starting line.

The generation of parents before me have shouted so loudly that many students with Down syndrome and other cognitive differences and disabilities are now being welcomed into university and higher education settings! We are celebrating that by supporting Ruby’s Rainbow – an organization that provides higher education scholarships for individuals with Down syndrome! Organizations like Ruby’s Rainbow show colleges and universities that there is a seat at the table for these students and they’re listening!

Join us in shouting the worth of these incredible students by taking the 3.21 Pledge –

1. Make a one time $21 donation that goes straight to college scholarship recipients.
2. Pledge to be kind to ALL people and commit to inclusion in your environments!
3. Share the love with three of your friends <3

https://321pledge.org/share/megan-vowler

P.S. Regan is home from surgery and doing so well. She is comfortable and relaxed and we’re counting down until she can walk again! Thank you for all your love, support and prayers. Today and always.